Every Cloud DOESN'T Have A Silver Lining, It Just Hides That Bigger Cloud!

Well today was my off day. I woke up at 10am to the voice of mum telling me to get ready faster. I left my pay cheque at work the night before and the two most influential women in my life made sure I never forget it again. Telinga kiri, mum with "What kind of moron leaves their pay at work?". Telinga kanan- Alia'a, being the sweetheart she is was nicer with her response, "What kind of person forgets their pay? Ohh..you." I know it wasn't the smartest thing to do but it's not like I forgot it on purpose. And the two replies, although sound similar are clearly different. Mum was taking her usual jab at me while Alia'a was being sweet in using humour. That reminds why I need her so much to get over my life at home, when I'm messaging her I forget the rest of the world and just focus on her. It may sound as if I'm betraying my family and that I love someone that I've only known for 7 months more than I love the person that gave birth to me but that isn't true. Alia'a made a good point in her blog that if our parents can't understand us it's because we have not been totally open to them, it is MY fault my mum often makes me look stupid because I've never told her how much it hurts me.

Back to the topic, I went to Alamanda to pick up my cheque and I started laughing when I realised nobody was working in our section. Abang Fadhil, Nafis and Halim were all on afternoon shifts and Farhan and I were off. Anyway, I took my cheque and was leaving Alamanda when I noticed Nafis getting down from a bus. I decided to go back in and join Nafis and Diana for lunch. After the break I went to my 'work place' BUM Equipment and tried on some clothes that I loved. I kept it aside together with the sweater that I'm getting Alia'a. Next week when Kak Nita comes I will take those home and wrap the sweater up for Alia'a. All the time I was also messaging Alia'a and then she said, "Usually you're the one who says it. Happy Anniversary!"

OHH SHIT! I FORGOT OUR ANNIVERSARY!

It has been 7 months since I met my baby and this is the first anniversary I've forgotten. When I told Diana what happened she said, "Teruk gila kau lupa anniversary!" Then it hit me. I have never forgotten our anniversary, why didn't I remember this time? I can't blame work because everyday I write the date on receipts, I should know it's the 16th. Is my worst nightmare coming true? Is this year going to be so hard that Alia'a and I drift apart? I hope not. I love her too much to see her pass by like a season. They build the life they want for us but we are the ones who have to live through it. Alia'a and Its been an amazing 7 months filled with ups and downs, plenty of fights, litres of tears, lots of 'merajuk-ing' (mostly from me) and two incidents where our relationship could and if we wanted to play it safe should have ended. This relationship is a risk for the both of us. She has parents that have high hopes for her. Become a doctor, live a comfortable life, marry someone wealthy that is picked by them, pretty much the whole 9 yards. Me, I'm the son of a preaching self-made unofficial Hindu priest that makes sure her son gets everything she wants for him...on a budget. You may think, that's not too bad, she is looking out for me. Well, like I tell everyone.I both have parents that believe they have the best interest of their child at heart but Alia'a and I have taken 2 different paths in changing that. She has decided to stick it out and give them what they want while I have decided to rebel. Am I a bad child? Definitely. Do I regret doing this? Definitely not. The way I see it, this life is mine to live. My mother may have brought me here but sooner and later I have to stand on my own 2 feet, and standing on two feet is much easier when you are doing something you enjoy instead of doing something that would make your parents happy.

That reminds me, I fought with my mum again because she wants me to go to KLIUC because it is cheaper than UCSI. I told her I'd rather do TESSEL than go to KLIUC because I would still be paying RM30K+ for majoring in something I don't want to do. I know it's hard for my mum to scrape together the 10K for UCSI foundation but she cant expect me to sit through 4 years and 30K on something I didn't even want in the first place. Anyway, I'll be staying with Uncle Acu in his Condo...that'll be fun!

Back to the topic at hand, coming back home from Alamanda I couldn't get the notion that my relationship with Alia'a is on the rocks out of my head. I confronted her and she agreed that we would try our best to make it work. She admitted that this relationship is hard on her and I can't say I'm surprised, having to keep this from her family and trying to keep me happy while still dealing with the pressures of Form 5, I surely couldn't handle it. But she is much stronger than me, I'll help her through this year, and just pray by this time next year we are still together. One thing that keeps me strong is that day in Midvalley, that was probably one of the best days of my life. That brief moment when I put the ring in her hand and gripped it tightly, the other moment when I played with her hair, or when I was playing and we were laughing at the fact that we have similar teeth, or even when I was combing her hair back properly with my hand in front of the shoe shop. Those events are unforgettable, engraved in my memory forever. And I want more of those days, but I don't want them with anyone else but my baby.

We have gone through so much together that I feel like I know her better than anyone else. She was there for me when I needed her, like those two paracetamol nights, SPM, my sisters hurting me, my mum and her constant favouritism. I tried to be there for her too, like when her grandfather passed on, although I never knew him I cried in the school toilet because I knew how much she loved him. After CMGA, I TRIED to calm her down after the loss. I helped get over the loss of TJ and again, I TRIED to be there for her when Curly died. I was by her side when Foxy was ill and I was by her side every night even though in reality is not even in sight. I remember we both used Lina, she said I was with Lina so that her parents wouldn't know and I let my mum believe I was with Lina so she wouldn't find out about Alia'a. I can't thank Lina enough for that.

Anyway, when I got home I ended up fighting with Geetu Chechi(older sister #2), the stupid moron can win an Academy Award for actually lying to my face while keeping a straight face. After mum got home fought with her about the UCSI-KLIUC thing then helped my lil sis with her EST work. Is it just me or does my phone get wonkey during the most important messages. When I am crapping with Alia'a my phone is fine but when the conversation gets serious, "Sending Failed, Message Barred". Here's to a better tomorrow.

Off,
Sand